


no heaven without you

by tototooru



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Past Character Death, can you believe i actually tagged fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 14:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8106052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tototooru/pseuds/tototooru
Summary: 'someday we will be together again...'





	

**Author's Note:**

> hello i havent updated anything since school started and now im hitting you with feels, you can thank me later
> 
> this is a sequel for 'last goodbye'  
> i added changki because changki  
> it can be read as a stand alone blah blah blah  
> happy new year

Kihyun was nervously waiting at the train station. His eyes were wandering everywhere just to see a person he had actually never met. _What if he looked different in real life?_ They did talk a lot on Skype and Kihyun received a lot of selcas on a daily basis, but it was still possible that he looked different. _Right?_ Even though the station was almost empty, he was still worried that he won't be able to recognize him. He felt like everything around him was grey - the sky, the buildings, the trains. As if he wasn't there. Not a part of the scenery. Somewhere else, yet he was still there. The feeling was weird and couldn't be explained that easily. One thing was for sure - he was freezing.

He shook his head, distracting himself with more optimistic thoughts. He was going to see his boyfriend today and nothing was going to ruin his mood, even his negative thoughts that were already making an attempt. Now he was just mentally preparing.

He and Hoseok met three years ago on the Internet. On Omegle to be more specific. They kept talking and got to know each other in the matter of just a week. They gained each other's trust in that time span. Since then they were best friend for around two years until they both confessed their feelings for each other in a 3am Skype conversation while they were playing World of Warcraft, without expecting the other was going to do it. It was quite hard for them to keep their relationship since they lived 10 hours away from each other with no chance to see each other any time soon because of their families. Anything could happen in long distance relationships. And that's why Kihyun hated them so much. But as long as they were true to each other, they thought everything was going to be fine. He made that compromise because he loved Hoseok too much to not be with him and miss the opportunity to tell him how in love he was with him every single day, without both of them getting tired.

They were talking on Skype or on the phone almost every day. Hoseok's voice was the most angelic thing that had reached Kihyun's ears ever. Sometimes Kihyun would call Hoseok in the middle of the night, just to calm down, forget about all of his worries. Hoseok also had an amazing singing voice which was even better. On the other hand, Hoseok had discovered Kihyun could sing just lately, but he was keeping quiet about it just because he was too shy and wasn't exactly aware of how good his voice sounded, especially early in the morning when he was too tired to live, yet he couldn't go back to sleep.

No matter how happy they were most of the time, there were those agonisingly painful days when they just craved each other physically and nothing could replace the emptiness their minds and souls turned into when they were lonely. Hoseok always promised that he was going to visit Kihyun very soon. But it had been an year and the boy stopped believing in those words until Hoseok called him, telling him that he was coming to see him. _In just ten hours._ Kihyun was freaking out because he didn't have time to do anything, he didn't even know what to wear or if he looked too ugly for the outside world. _What if Hoseok didn't like him?_  That question wasn't letting him breathe.

But then there he was - waiting for his boyfriend at 4am. Luckily, there weren't many people. None at all, actually. Maybe it was just his imagination or the lack of sleep, but those people were just silhouettes. The cold air was making Kihyun feel even sleepier. Maybe that was a factor, too. He closed his eyes, hoping that the loud music, coming from his earphones was going to keep him awake. It was managing to do so for quite a while already.

Suddenly he felt weight on his legs and arms wrapping around his neck. He removed his earphones and opened his eyes, seeing Hoseok's smiling face before him. _God,_ he was so close and he looked even more beautiful than Kihyun had exptected _._

Kihyun didn't say anything. He thought it was better not to. His hand and cupped the other's cheek, lightly brushing his thumb against his skin. Hoseok's smile was getting wider and brighter. As if he was a ray of sunshine, contrasting the grey surrounding them. He pressed his lips against Kihyun's after looking at him lovingly for a while. "I've wanted to do this for so long," Hoseok breathed as he was pulling away.

Kihyun was lost of words. He was so happy he couldn't even show it with an expression, his face hurt too much from smiling. He rested his forehead on Hoseok's shoulder, holding him firmly, so the other didn't fall from his lap. Hoseok moved his hands from Kihyun's neck to his hands, grabbing them. He looked down at the younger boy, his eyes suddenly full of pain because of how happy Kihyun was... It hurt him. Made him feel guilty even. The mood between them quickly switched to a more gloomy one. "I'm sorry I left you, Ki."

"What?" Kihyun threw Hoseok a confused look. "What do you mean left me?"

Hoseok started with a sigh, mentally picking the right words. "Baby, you're dreaming. Look around. Everything is grey, colorless. People aren't even people, just shadows. And it's just the two of us. None of this is real... except the fact that I love you. I wish I told you that more while I was alive." His smile was holding so much sadness yet it was still so bright. Just now Kihyun began to realize why the atmosphere felt so odd... He really was dreaming. "I know that you have someone else and he's trying to help you get over my... death, so, please, let him. He loves you. You haven't even noticed with how much adoration the boy looks at you. And he's still so young, but so in love with you and everything you do... Ki, you need to learn how to love him, if not anyone else."

Tears were already streaming down from Kihyun's eyes. "I don't want to love anyone else," he stuttered. "I love only you..."

"I'm sorry, baby..." Hoseok kissed Kihyun again, feeling the boy's tears on his lips. "Someday, we will be together again. I will wait as long as it takes. There will be no heaven for me for the time you're not there with me. Until that moment comes, you should let yourself put in all your love into other people."

\--

The sun was about to rise. Kihyun's windows were already letting in the bits of sunlight that were over the horizon. There were hints of fog, but it wasn't that visible. The streets were quiet - just the cars of people, who went to work early, were passing by without making much of a noise.

Kihyun woke up, his whole body covered with a thin layer of cold sweat. It took him a while until his breathing was even again. He felt a weight on his arm. He looked at that direction and saw two dark eyes staring into his.

"Changkyun, why are you awake?" Kihyun asked, gently combing his fingers through the other boy's hair.

"I don't know," the younger mumbled, clinging onto Kihyun.

Kihyun sighed, moving to a more comfortable position, so he could hug Changkyun. His dream was still so vivid. He could feel Hoseok's lips on his own, along with every single touch of his. But Hoseok was right. Or ay least the one from his dream... He had to move on and let Changkyun get closer. It was only fair. At least towards Changkyun. The boy deserved so much love

"Kyun?"

"Yes?"

"I love you," Kihyun said, softly pecking Changkyun's forehead. Those three words felt different and even weird since he wasn't saying it to Hoseok. And they weren't completely the truth. But he knew that soon they would be. "This is probably the first time I'm saying it and I'm not quite sure it holds its full meaning like it has to do... Thank you for being next to me for so long even though I know I've hurt you so many times. I appreciate your presence so much and there's currently nothing more important than you in my life... You can be sure that I really mean it. At least the second part of it..." He stumbled on his words so much that he chuckled, followed by Changkyun's quiet giggles. "Sorry..." Kihyun's chuckles turned into laughter. He couldn't continue talking, so he just kissed Changkyun softly. The kiss was speaking enough for the both of them.

Changkyun almost believed he was the one dreaming now. He fully understood the meaning of this. Kihyun was letting him help, instead of pushing him away once again. He couldn't stop smiling while being kissed by Kihyun. He still wasn't sure about their relationship or more specifically, what were they exactly, but Kihyun's words explained it all for him for the first time.

_\--_

_I hope you're still keeping an eye on me from up there, baby._

_I still haven't gotten over everything... you, your death that remains unsolved... But let me tell you, I'm really happy with Changkyun and it's probably thanks to you._

_Please, keep waiting for me._

_Thank you for everything, Shin Hoseok._

**Author's Note:**

> yehet


End file.
